1. You’ve become a Facebook pusher. “Try it once, you’ll love it…” you say to networking virgins.
2. The last time you had any intimate contact was when you were ‘poked’ by some guy you haven’t seen for two years. Actual sex is so last century.
3. You realise you’ve spent the last hour looking at photos of someone you don’t even know.
4. You obsessively check your friends’/ex-boyfriends’/total strangers’ list of friends to see if they have more than you. And if they do…
5. …you become a friend thief. Who cares if you don’t know them? All’s fair in love and Facebook war…
6. When it comes to meeting people, if they’re not ‘on’ they’re not worth bothering with. Who needs real friends when you’re trying to reach the elusive 150 mark with your virtual ones?
7. You forget your best friend’s birthday but you figure she’ll be perfectly happy if you ‘gift’ her a cocktail and a Happy Birthday balloon.
8. You’ve had three group invites this morning but seem to be having another quiet night in tonight.
9. You turn down a night out at the pub quiz to play Scrabulous. It’s a game; you’re playing it with a friend and having a drink while you do it. What’s the difference?
10. When it comes to solving real-life problems, your Magic 8 Ball application has made decision-making easy. So what if you were in love with the guy it told you to dump? Plenty more fish in the Facebook sea.
11. You haven’t had a food fight for ten years but now your day isn’t complete until you’ve thrown something at a friend. It’s a sign of affection, you know.
12. You’re dreading your holiday because you can’t face going cold turkey.
13. Work has become a nice break from Facebook, rather than the other way around.
14. When you’re not on Facebook, you’re trawling the internet for a new job as you’re convinced you’ll be sacked for Facebooking very soon.
15. The first thing you think when you are fired for excessive Facebooking is, ‘Great, now I can spend more time on Facebook.’
From Glamour magazine
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